it has been QUITE a long while since i’ve posted…but i’ve finally come on to officially announce the wonderful news that steve and i are expecting a baby boy this winter!
it’s been a very difficult year for our family, after losing tanner to brain cancer in april. he was a beautiful, sweet, loving, caring, amazing kid who was the light of a family who loved him dearly. words can’t express what tanner meant to us, and nothing will ever fill the space in our hearts where we will always keep him. not only has it been hard for steve and i to lose our godson, but watching our brother and sister have to go through losing their child…i hope i never have to know that pain because what i do know is that it is the worst thing anyone could ever go through in this world. tanner was a blessing to all who knew him, and my heart tells me that he continues to be a blessing to us as he watches over us…and over his little cousin who is on the way.
just days after losing tanner, steve and i learned that we are expecting. our little boy is due on january 2nd and after a small scare about a single umbilical artery, we’ve since received continuously better news at each doctor visit…and i strongly feel that tanner has a part in that. i pray to him all the time to keep his cousin safe and i truly believe he hears me.
oddly, there was always a special connection between tanner and our little orange cat, okie. tanner was the only child okie didn’t run from; in fact, tanner could pull on him, lay on him…and okie would just stay by him and usually they’d give each other kisses. tanner’s sweet and gentle nature had a strange effect on okie. and when okie layed on my stomach for the first time during this pregnancy and let out a loud and content purr, i got a strange sense that the connection is already branching out further, from tanner, to okie, to our little baby justin. it may sound silly to some, but i will always know in my heart that tanner and justin are strongly connected and that tanner will always be a beautiful little angel watching over my baby.
we can’t wait for justin to be here…i’m entering my 3rd trimester, we have baby classes lined up, and have started planning the nursery. after the crazy hail storm that dented up our new car, we finally have it back in our possession. and after the hurricane dropped a tree on our house, we will finally start making the repairs to stop the water damage and get the hole out of our dining room! our lives will never be the same after losing our brave, amazing tanner…but we look forward to a new life with our little justin, one in which i know tanner will always be watching over us and keeping us safe. and in which he will never be out of our hearts.
Amazing. Even already knowing the story, it’s still all amazing when reading it. I love how you throw in the end there: “after the crazy hail storm that dented up our new car….and after the hurricane dropped a tree on our house” as if an after-thought. Your optimism, your courage, and your focus on what truly matters in life all contribute to how the both of you make a difference in this world…just the way Tanner did…and the way I know Justin will. Love you all and can’t wait to meet him!
By: Tricia on October 3, 2011
at 7:49 pm